The Brain Eaters' Greatest Hits Part 2

Some time ago I posted the first article of this two part series, promising that it wouldn't take me a year and a half to finish it like the last series I wrote did. I have kept that promise, taking merely a fleeting nine months to get around to writing this second, concluding post. Refresh your memories by rereading the first post and then continue on to see what other sad victims of the brain eater continue to shuffle around issuing shitty new albums or novels from the empty shells of their former artistry.

4. Audioslave

Rage Against the Machine and Soundgarden were two of the best popular bands of the early 90s, and everyone was disappointed to see them break up. A few years ago when Chris Cornell (Soundgarden singer) joined with Rage (minus their vocalist Zach) to form Audioslave, it seemed like a brilliant proposition. Unfortunately their first album, while passable, was nowhere near as good as anything produced by the original bands. There was still hope that they could improve, but that was confounded when their second and third releases turned out to be truly appalling four-and-a-half-minute-pop-rock-song middle of the road boredomfests. The Brain Eater must have been truly sated after reducing guitarist Tom Morello from his former brilliance to a four chord strumming zombie, barely capable of stuttering out a half way decent solo.

3. Shihad

They were the biggest rock band in New Zealand for much of the 90s, and for once the popularity was deserved. The Fish Album, Killjoy and The General Electric are packed with classic songs, and I have many fond memories of seeing them perform live touring for The General Electric (and it's preceding EP Blue Light Disco). However the subsequent album saw them trying to remake themselves for an international (i.e. American) audience as Pacifier and releasing a horrifically bland 'nu-metal for pussies' album, a career move that could only have been made by a band left with barely enough neurons to feed themselves following a sudden and vicious attack by the brain eater. They tried to redeem themselves with their most recent album Love is the New Hate and the attempt was appreciated, but they just don't have the spark anymore.

2. Robin Hobb

Robin Hobb's Assassin series is one of the finest fantasy trilogies I've ever read. All three books are very good but the last one is truly fantastic, with one of the most emotionally moving endings I've ever read. She went on to write a sequel trilogy (only loosely connected to the first), The Liveship Traders, which was OK, but nowhere near the standards of the preceding books. Then, in one of the Brain Eater's most unholy crimes yet, she returned to the characters and setting of the first trilogy and RETROACTIVELY RUINED THEM FOREVER!!!! If you ever read and enjoyed Assassin's Quest then never ever read Fool's Fate. At the time I wondered what would possess someone to take an incredibly moving and sad story and render it all meaningless by reversing literally everything that happened and turning it into a lame happy ever after ending. I now know the terrifying truth. It was the Brain Eater!

1. Bob

Man, Bob used to be so awesome you know? But now that he's popular it's like he doesn't care about his original fans any more. But that's cool, I can still enjoy his older work without letting it be ruined by thinking about all the crap he's done lately.

Here's a Better Link

Funny video. Warning, contains nudity, and not the good kind.

Boring Friday Night Metal Link

A moderately interesting article on black metal at the Chicago Tribune. I hate flat hunting.

New Nine Inch Nails Song Leaked

See here. I like it.

What's cool is the manner in which it was 'leaked'. It was found on a USB drive left in a toilet after a recent NIN concert in Lisbon, complete with lyrics and artwork.

There's heaps of other cool stuff that's being clandestinely slipped onto the internet about the new album (or rather about its concept), if you're interested...

Games I Haven't Played

There comes a time in every man's life when he must take a good hard look at the things listed in the 'Now Playing' sidebar on his blog and admit to himself that he's just not going to finish most of those games. Lets go through them one by one and discuss why they're being dismissed to the 'waste of money' pile.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

I really enjoyed Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones and having heard that The Sands of Time was the best entry in the series I assumed I would enjoy it too. Sadly it is not the case. The gameplay mechanics are not as polished as they were in the more recent game, and the focus is more on fighting than on the cool acrobatic tricks and nifty leaping around that made The Two Thrones so much fun. I reached the first boss monster, got frustrated and never went back to it.

Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth

I heard a few good things about this one on the gaming blogs and it was cheap so I picked it up. There is quite a bit to recommend it: the gameplay is smooth and reasonably bug free, and the designers have done a superb job of evoking both the visceral and the existential dread of Lovecraft's writing. Sadly one cannot say the same for the game's writers, who have pretty much made the overall story a Disney ride through a bullet pointed list of Cthulhu mythos scenarios. Considering that they start out breaking the cardinal rule of these stories (“Don't show the audience the whistling octopus until the end”) it's remarkable that the designers managed to make the individual setpieces work so well. The sewers level (cardinal rule of game design: “Always have a level set in the sewers”) is one of the scariest gaming experiences I've had since Thief 3's orphanage. You know, maybe this one deserves a second chance...

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Chaos Bleeds

This one on the other hand is just a stinker. You control a selection of characters from the TV show in what is basically a graphically updated version of Double Dragon (and not a very good one at that). The fact that it says 'Buffy' in the title got me most of the way through, but the sad facts are that the game doesn't actually do much with it's license (for some inexplicable reason most of the action takes place in an alternate reality, rather than the actual locations of the TV show), the story sucks and the gameplay is simply dead boring. I reached the last level but just got so bored that I can't be fucked finishing it.

Xenosaga Episode II

When I was a kid I used to love games with elaborate, overwrought storylines and big cinematic cutscenes. If I was still a kid I would probably love this game, as it's story is dramatic and epic, even by Japanese RPG standards, and it's probably about 90% cutscenes. Maybe it would have helped if I'd played the first game, but I never really got a handle on the combat system, so I stopped playing about halfway through.

Heroes of Might and Magic III

This on the other hand is a fantastic game. I probably sunk a good forty or fifty hours into it last year, finishing the main game and making solid progress through the expansions, but it got very hard, and after taking a two month break from it (after moving to Australia and not having a computer) I found that I'd lost my edge and couldn't get any further than where I'd saved my game before moving.

Arcanum

The only reason I stopped playing this one was because I lost the disc. I found it again (actually I found another copy, I thought it had been stolen in the great CD heist of aught-two, but it turns out it was packed away in a box at my Mum's house) over Christmas, so when I have time I intend to get back into it.

Final Fantasy X

You haven't defeated me yet Final Fantasy X, I will get back to you one day! Just you wait!

Inconceivable Power Unleashed

Suffocation – Suffocation

Finally I get round to writing a post about a band before I get to go and see them live! (It means I'm almost on top of my blogging backlog, it'll be the first time that's happened, ever.) Suffocation (Suffo to their friends) are playing here this Sunday, and it should be an experience. These guys are of a subgenre of death metal known as 'brutal death metal', because all those other bands hammering their drums and shredding their guitars are really only gruff or unmannerly death metal. I have no idea what kind of a crowd will show up, but I expect that it won't be pretty.

As far as I can tell in these guys' case the 'brutal' adjective describes the straightforward way these guys go about making a big noise. There's no crazy spastic stuff like Cryptopsy, and no carefully arranged melodies like Opeth, it's just one mean riff with jack hammer drumming, shredded guitars and guttural vocals going full tilt after another. It might sound a bit boring but once you get past the angry, confrontational presentation of their music this album is actually pretty catchy and fun. They don't take themselves too seriously either, well at least I hope that “You are so fucking beautiful. I bathe myself, in the entrails of you” is not meant seriously. You can tell from their pictures and videos that they have that ironic gleam in their eye (as most extreme metal bands do) that tells you that they're really just having fun, despite the morbid trappings of the genre.

These guys are all at the top of their game technically. The lead guitarist especially is inspiring. It's a great relief to hear someone who can shred amazing solos (in terms of speed and technique) but also knows how to keep them short and sweet and sounding cool in and of themselves while also enhancing the song that they're a part of. His style is quite distinctive, it's typical death metal squealing and fiddling but presented in a quirky and off-kilter way that makes it quite unique and gives the songs a nice counterpoint to the straight up thrashing that characterises most of them. Definitely a welcome improvement on those tragic wastes of talent in Dragonforce.

Anyone interested in heavy metal should definitely check these guys out. It may take a few listens to get into because they do make a good hard effort to put the 'brutal' in 'brutal death metal', but it's fucking fun stuff.

Argh! My Ears!

For centuries philosophers have pondered the age old question: are Korn a good band with a few crappy albums, or a shit band who somehow manage to crank out a decent tune occasionally. With the release of their new unplugged album, the band themselves have sent a clear message that it is the latter. Watch the trailer, if you dare:



Poor old JD seems to have no idea as to how to sing his songs rather than scream them, so while his compatriots sensitively plunk away on their acoustic guitars he yells out the words in much the same way as as when he's backed by a big noisy nu-metal band. However things don't get really bad until they pull out the guest stars: fellow has-been Robert Smith and Amy "It's just as well I look good" Lee. Listening to Lee and Davis try and out emote one another with no regard for cohesion or even being in tune is more than a little dismaying. Way to make me that much more embarrassed to say I listen to either of your bands guys.

My Food Is Problematic

Firefly

I sure took my time getting to it but I have finally been a good obsessive fanboy and bought Firefly on DVD. In brief Firefly is a sci-fi TV show by Joss Whedon, the creator of Buffy (and Angel). The show is broadly in the mould of similar shows like Star Trek; every week the characters fly their space ship somewhere new and find something interesting yet dangerous. The attributes that set this show apart are the setting (in which the outer reaches of human colonised space are very much like the American wild west of old, right down to the deserts, outlaws and train robberies), and of course Joss' distinctive writing style.

This was the third TV show that Joss helmed and he does a confident and assured job of introducing the characters, setting the scene for future story arcs and hinting at the backstories of the people and places involved. Sadly this is pretty much all he got to do as after only fourteen episodes the show was shitcanned by those notorious idiots at Fox. Fortunately the movie Serenity was made to finish up the story and resolve the most immediate loose ends of the plot, but it's a pity that the series itself never got to do much more than show it's potential.

It's just as well that the episodes that did get made are nothing short of great. The setting is very well thought out, and while unfortunately Joss never got to show and explain a lot of what was going on what we do see is pretty cool. The series' strong points are really exactly the things that were good about Buffy and Angel, done by Joss with the years of experience working on those programmes behind him and none of the overwrought emotional baggage that the other shows had accumulated. The humour is as brilliant as you'd expect, but unlike Buffy Firefly works well as a drama too. A lot of this can be attributed to vastly superior acting, which gives it a genuine emotional side that Buffy never really achieved, but I think savvier, less cheesy writing played a part too.

The characters are also one of the reasons this show is so great. Our major protagonist Mel (the spaceship's captain) is a wisecracking but haunted hero in the mould of Angel, but he's far more interesting than Angel ever was because (a) he's played by an actor who can act rings around David Boreanz, and (b) because his backstory is far more down to earth and relatable than 'I'm a 400 year old vampire who's killed thousands of people for pleasure'. At the other end of the spectrum we have River, a damaged young girl who provides loads of humour (in a similar vein to Delirium in Sandman), but who also evokes genuine sadness and pity with her pathetic brokenness. It's a shame we never got to see most of these characters make their way to their originally intended fates, but at least in the movie we get to see River's somewhat predictable, but still way cool, transformation into, well, Buffy...

Incomprehensible Screaming

Satyricon/Enslaved – The Forest is My Throne / Yggdrassil

It's time for another Satyricon album. This one is a split EP so Satyricon only have four songs on it, and there's not really much to say about them that I didn't say about Dark Medieval Times. Save for a nice acoustic moment in 'Min Hyllest Til Vinterland', and the cool pleasure/pain moaning during the intro to 'Night of the Triumphator', it's inoffensive but boring.

Enslaved's stuff is a lot better. They have more of the intensity and energy that characterises decent black metal and it's a lot more fun to listen to, even if from a purely technical perspective there's little to differentiate them from Satyricon or Emperor. Unfortunately they're let down by some atrocious production. I know black metal is supposed to have shitty production, but there's a big difference between shitty as in 'giving things a raw, primal feel' and shitty as in 'barely being able to discern the drums because it sounds like they were recorded from a mike embedded in the producers rectum'. In spite of that they've still managed to make a fun EP.

Saturday Thrash Metal Blogging

The band I saw last night (Murder World):


They sounded pretty much exactly like they look.

I am pretty proud of this photo though. The lighting looks cool and I caught the dude moshing on the left at just the right moment.

She Was His Queen

Isis – In the Absence of Truth

But before the fantastic concert last week came a fantastic album. Not quite as fantastic as their previous record Panopticon but close to it nonetheless.

On this album Isis have lightened up and opened out a bit. There's still plenty of heaviness but while Oceanic and Panopticon were both mostly one oppressive dirgelike drone metal anthem after another, they've found room on In the Absence of Truth for ambience and more cheerful emotions. The production also seems a lot better, which is most appreciated. The drums on the earlier albums always sounded a little anaemic, despite the talent of the drummer, and it's good to hear them get the solidity and power they deserve this time around.

As is standard form with these guys there's a weighty concept behind the music. The lyrics are mostly incomprehensible and they haven't been posted on their website yet so it's pretty hard to tell exactly what it's all about beyond the hint given in the liner notes, that the title is derived from the quote “Nothing is true, everything is permitted”, attributed to the Muslim mystic Hassan-I Sabbah. This might seem a little opaque but Isis are old hands at rendering their concepts and narratives impenetrable enough so that it adds flavour to the music without getting too heavy handed.

The opening track 'Wrists of Kings' immediately takes a departure from Isis' earlier albums, as they ever so slowly build from a delicate, sad motif to a final thunderous climax over seven patient minutes. The next track 'Not in Rivers, but in Drops', is more conventional by their standards but still shows a lot more textural variation than their older stuff.

'Dulcinea' is their version of a soft, sad love song, at least until the end when it suddenly drops into a heavy, menacing riff before breaking out into a brilliant climax, complete with wailing lead guitar and an inspired rhythm part that drags even the most sedate listener out of their computer chair for an impromptu headbanging session.

'Over Root and Thorn' took a while to grow on me, partly because the opening few minutes of ambience, while great, is so quiet, and the rest of the song is a bit left field for these guys, featuring far more keyboards and clean vocals than usual. I've come to really like it though. I was disappointed when they didn't play it live.

'1000 Shards' and 'Holy Tears' are good songs in the vein of their older material. I'm almost perplexed listening to 'Holy Tears' now, it was so brilliant live but merely registers as 'good' to me when I hear the recorded version.

Those two tracks are separated by 'All Out of Time, All into Space', the first track to really grab me off this album and a truly beautiful piece of ambience.

'Firdous E. Bareen' is the most unusual track, taking electronic percussion and building a tribal rhythm up over the course of seven minutes, only introducing the barest essentials of a melody at the end. An unexpected twist for such a melody oriented band.

The last track, 'Garden of Light', starts very prettily, but goes downhill from there and is the only song on the album that doesn't really impress me. Not that it's not good to listen to, but it just doesn't live up to the high standard of the rest of the album.

As far as musicianship goes the band have done an excellent job moving their sound to the next level after Panopticon, introducing more varied textures and more dynamic moods. On the other hand the songwriting doesn't quite live up to the expectations generated by it's predecessor. There are no 'holy shit' moments like those scattered throughout the last album (most notably the climax of 'In Fiction'), and although every song is at the least very good, it simply doesn't achieve the constant level of total awesomeness that Panopticon achieved.

In Case Anyone Needed A Laugh

Fred Durst shows off his passionate virtuosity in one of the finest guitar solos ever committed to YouTube.

I Know Your Type... MURDERER! Hey, It's The Champion Of Cyrodiil!

Oblivion (Bethesda Softworks)

It only took me nine months, but I've finally finished Oblivion. When I say 'finished' of course I'm just referring to the main storyline, I still have all the guild missions to finish off, plus all manner of side quests and half the map still to explore. And I just bought the expansion pack.

Oblivion is the fourth RPG in the Elder Scrolls series, and stylistically it is virtually identical to it's predecessors. You are given complete customisation of your character, informed of a direction to go in should you wish to follow the main storyline and then dumped into a huge, detailed world where you are free to go anywhere, do anything, talk to (or kill (or attempt to kill)) anyone and of course to engage in Barnes' favourite pastime, picking up everything no matter how worthless it is in order to sell it for more money.

The story of Oblivion is based around an attempt by an evil demon prince, long ago banished from the Earth, to conquer the empire in which Oblivion is set. He does this, imaginatively enough, by opening huge fiery portals everywhere which spew forth nasty demons who head off and wreck havoc. If this sounds like typical fantasy tripe to you then you're quite right. It was a little bit disappointing to have such a straightforward 'battle against evil' tale in this instalment after the more nuanced, original back story of the previous game in the series (Morrowind). Still one of the strengths of the series is the writers determination to present these fantastical scenarios with realistic consistency and believability, and I appreciated the hints here and there that the invading army of demons (a bloodthirsty, warlike lot who come from a lava filled dungeon world and are fond of saying things like “Kneel or die, slave!”) are really just trying to get back to the home they were exiled from many years ago.

As a game Oblivion is superb. The art and graphics are truly breathtaking, and on a decent computer you feel fully immersed in a genuinely huge, living, breathing world as you traipse around the countryside, admiring the views, picking pretty flowers and getting mauled by wild animals, bandits and wandering demons.

The gameplay is almost perfectly balanced. No other game in recent memory has kept my attention for such a long time. You'd think the endless dungeon clearing and errand running would get old fast but the designers have shrewdly extracted loads of variety from the same old RPG game mechanics that have been employed for decades now. Even just sitting here thinking about it while writing I'm tempted to go back to it... there's a Daedric shrine near where I am at the moment and those quests are always fun. Plus I've got to return to the assassins guild for my next mission from them (and there's nothing more fun than sneaking into a highly secure fortress and offing some unsuspecting chump)...

If I have one criticism it's that a poorly chosen character type can make the game unnecessarily hard. I played a destruction magic/archery based character, and only made progress an inch at a time until about five months ago when with the aid of a few choice magic items my character hit that sweet inflection point and began carving a swathe of destruction through his enemies (and any friends with poor enough AI to get in front of him). Still, the game was good enough to keep me coming back to it often enough to reach that point.

I figured it was past time to write something about this game now that I've finished the main quest, but with the first expansion sitting on my desk and another due in a few months I don't think I'll be putting it aside any time soon...

Edit: Misspelt Cyrodiil. Fucking fantasy names...

Torchwood

Torchwood is the more adult spin off show of the new Dr. Who series. It follows the adventures of a secret extra governmental agency in charge of protecting Earth from aliens, monsters and other bugaboos. For some inexplicable reason they are based in Cardiff.

The show inherits a lot of its parent's goofiness, even though it tries hard to take itself seriously. Combined with the underwhelming acting ability of the cast this results in a lot of cringe inducing moments. But for every episode that stinks, like the regrettable Fight Club tribute 'Combat' or the 'where the hell did all this shit come from' moments of the season finale, there's one that works quite well. The characters are fairly well thought out and whenever they focus on them rather than some absurd sci-fi monster of the week things work pretty well.

It will be interesting to see where it goes in its next season, as the writers seem to have weighty topics in mind for it. Life after death (or the lack of it) continually pops up, as well as the agents inability to relate to the mass of humanity that they are supposedly protecting, which increases as they have more and more experiences with things beyond the mundane world of normal people, and don't much like what they see.

Dr. Who remains, of course, far superior, goofiness and all.

We Cannot Hide Ourselves

Isis – Live at the Metro, Sydney, February 3rd

Considering all the crazy shit that happened after this concert I was almost surprised to remember when I woke up the next morning that, on top of almost being arrested, I'd also just seen yet another amazing concert, just a week after Tool and Muse!

Like Mogwai and Satyricon this show was at the Metro, which is quite a nice venue. Very similar to the St. James in Auckland. It was an unusual crowd in attendance, with most of the punters being weird amalgams of the glasses and cardigan set that came to see Mogwai and the beer chugging munters that were at Satyricon. Surprisingly the theatre was completely packed; Mogwai wasn't full, and Satyricon's show was almost empty. I would have thought that either of those bands would be more popular than Isis.

Laura

The opening act were Laura, who were fairly good and played to a very receptive crowd. Other than when My Disco opened for Mogwai I don't think I've ever seen another opening act be so warmly appreciated. Their sound can pretty much be described as by the numbers post rock. Most of their songs sounded very much like their obvious antecedents, Mogwai, Sigur Ros and Isis, which I guess made them a good choice for an opener.

Laura again

These Arms Are Snakes followed. I was looking forward to seeing them, even though I knew nothing about them except that they had a cool name. They started out very promisingly, with lots of crazy feedback and delay drenched screaming from the singer, but it didn't last. The singer's rock star preening and posturing was delivered with total confidence but that lame indie faux-cock rock shit just annoys me. Their music, a heavy variety of indie rock, didn't impress me much either. Mind you I did like their guitarist. He had a bit of a crazy Mars Volta thing going on.

These Arms Are Snakes

I found a good spot close to the front for Isis. Unfortunately I was sandwiched amongst a bunch of big, drunk, sweaty guys, but they turned out to be friendly enough (you just have to remember when amongst metallers that when they say “Don't fuck with me, I'll kick all your fucking asses! Give me my beer back, cunt!” in metallish it translates to “Hey bro nice to meet you” in English).

It was kind of weird that Isis didn't have roadies to set their instruments up for them. They came on stage, fiddled around with their equipment for twenty minutes, walked off for five and then returned to enormous applause.

Isis

The sound wasn't nearly as good as Tool. The vocals were definitely too quiet, and some of the heavier parts lost all definition and just became a big blur of noise because the gear apparently couldn't quite handle it. The band themselves were very quiet and unassuming, not really saying much between songs except for 'thanks', and giving polite waves on the way on and off the stage.

The setlist is easy to remember because it was basically the new album played from beginning to end with a couple of omissions and old songs inserted here and there:

Wrists of Kings

It's always great going to the concert of a band with about Isis' level of popularity. There are lots of people but not so many that it's too crowded, and absolutely everyone is there for the music, rather than to be able to say they've seen Bono close up or to get sweaty and gross while shoving around strangers. It was really cool to see so many people enjoying the long moody and mellow intro to this song, when most metal bands would be being told to play the hard shit or go home.

Not in Rivers, But in Drops

This one was a stunner. When these guys dropped into the heavy section at the end I felt it in my gut, and not just from sheer volume but because the music itself is powerful in a way that just reaches in and forces you to respond from the inside out. No other band I've seen live has blown me away quite like that. Not even Tool.

A little digression. Tool's music is very cerebral compared to Isis'. This isn't necessarily a bad thing but it explains why they stand there so formally on stage, while Isis are big fans of a bit of the old jumping around, and why it's better in some ways to watch Tool from the seats, which would be unthinkable for Isis...

False Light

The only track from Oceanic. There wasn't much old stuff (nothing off Celestial or anything older) played tonight... hopefully they'll come back again before they make another album and do a bit more of a retro set.

Isis rock so hard that you get that shaky camera effect like in nu-metal music videos, even with a still photo

Dulcinea

Slightly disappointing as this track is a standout on the album, but that monster of an outro wasn't done justice by the sound setup.

Syndic Calls

Every track from Panopticon was greeted with cheers and applause as soon as the first phrase registered with the audience. Good to see that I'm not the only one who think this album is beyond awesome!

1000 Shards

They had to stop and retune their guitars between every song. That's what you get for playing in drop B!

Wills Dissolve

Contrasting Isis with Tool again, Tool were very polished and played their instruments (almost) to technical perfection. Isis were a bit sloppier, I heard a couple of genuine stuff ups but I was impressed by the way that they always recovered immediately, even if they hiccuped on one of their complicated rhythms.

Holy Tears

On the album this song is good but not a highlight. On the other hand at the concert it was a genuine holy shit moment. That heavy being-pulverised-by-an-ocean-of-noise-(in-a-good-way) feeling I mentioned above was at its strongest at the end of this song. Just amazing.

Funny comment feature is currently unavailable, due to incredible awesomeness

And then they walked off stage! Maybe I was spoiled by Tool's two hour set but I was expecting a bit more. The encore was paltry in length too, only one song but they made it count:

In Fiction

I just don't have the words to describe how much I loved hearing this. This is a genuine contender for my personal favourite song ever and it would be fair to say that I was close to wetting myself with excitement when they played the first few notes. They drew this song's dark, moody intro out nice and long and the audience dug it which was great. Often audiences aren't interested in the quiet introspective parts of songs and this in turn affects the band's performance, so it was most impressive that they played this part with the same passion and emotional intensity as the heavier parts. And as for the heavy parts, as I said, I don't have the words. Just wow.

You can't really tell from this photo, but this is some heavy fucking shit

And then they walked off for good. I was hoping for more but what we got was still amazing. I honestly couldn't tell you whether I preferred them to Tool. Both bands have similarities but are quite different live acts, but both were among the best concerts I've seen. It's kind of weird... I'm getting to see a lot of good bands over the next few months: Suffocation, Deftones, Mastodon, Converge and Lamb of God (again), plus Nine Inch Nails just announced an Australian tour in May, but I'm not getting all that excited about any of them. I simply don't think any of those bands could be as good as Isis or Tool, but hey, you never know...

The Sunday Lessons

- Typical Sydney: If you spend $100 on swanky new trousers you'll quickly get them covered in dirt and ditch water from crawling through a hole in the wall to get into an illegal warehouse rave that has been shut closed by the police.

- Don't try and argue with the riot police. They get angry very easily.

This picture was probably the best of what I took of the actual crowd. There must have been at least 500 people still there at the end of the night when we were forced to leave.

Even the dog was getting into it
La Polizia!


Guilty of:
Trespassing
Selling liquor without a license
Playing music without a license
Having fun without a license...

A Cure For Cancer

Well Maybe. But it looks promising at least...

Obligatory Google Bombing

Because I must do as my master Neil Gaiman commands and link to this post: Penn Jillette

Your Lucky Day!

Special Friday evening 'Jon is too drunk to write a post with content' bonus link!

Britain's Most Massacred Regiments (thank you Making Light)

Australia Day

What a weird couple of days. Like most people I thought that the Sydney Big Day Out's threat to ban the Australian flag was a little stupid (not to mention likely to cause more harm than good), even though I was somewhat appreciative of their intentions and explanations of their actions (Yeah! Lets celebrate our country by listening to a bunch of popular bands from overseas! And Jet!). Even though I was expecting a significant reaction from the kids on the day of the Big Day Out, I still was surprised by just how strong it turned out to be, almost everyone there was either wearing a flag or a stick-on tattoo of the flag. Plus of course there were plenty of munters wearing those shirts with a picture of the Aussie flag saying “Support it or f*%k off”, which piss me off for a number of reasons. Firstly I'm aesthetically annoyed by little tough guy twats who're trying to appear intimidating but at the same time are too scared to wear a shirt with a real swear word on it. Secondly I wonder what they'd make of me. I live in Australia but I don't support their flag, would they tell me to fuck off or would they say “Oh no, we didn't mean you. You're OK, you're white”? I'm not sure which would be worse...

Anyway despite the unpleasant tone of some of the participants the day passed without incident. The next day (which was actually Australia Day) I largely avoided contact with any Aussies at all, spending most of the day in Bondi and the eastern suburbs with a big bunch of Kiwis. The one time I did venture into town I ran into a couple of drunk guys dressed in Australian flags. They came up to me and started chatting, and while they seemed friendly enough there was definitely a vibe about them that I disliked. Sure enough just then a black (i.e. Aboriginal) woman walked past and yelled out “Happy fucking Australia Day you fucking Aussie cunts” (or something along those lines) at them. At this point these guys started hurling abuse back at her. What disturbed me was the way that everyone else around was eager to join in the heckling. Now this kind of thing certainly doesn't happen everyday, at least not around where I've been living and hanging out. It's like for two days the whole country, normally so relaxed and easy going, undergoes some kind of nationalistic psychosis, and makes Waitangi Day look positively civilised. At least the two guys I was talking to were provoked by the incident into a discussion about whether it was 'fairdinkum' for the blacks to say 'fuck Australia', the final verdict of which was that they should be grateful that the poms showed up and conquered them, because otherwise the Japanese would have done so, and they'd be even worse off. Right...

Anyway I found this all somewhat frightening. Not in an 'oh my God it's just like Nazi Germany' sort of way but because it disturbs me how readily this nations youth can be persuaded to venerate an inanimate object. I seriously hate John Howard more every day. At least the actions of George Bush and his government are explicable, they may be motivated by greed, pride or some pathetic strain of religion but at least a connection between action and motivation is apparent. Not so in Australia, everything that comes out of Howard's mouth seems to be inspired by nothing but pure malice. He's like some of warlord from a b-grade eighties fantasy movie who simply wants what's worst for everyone. His recent comments about the flag seem to imply only one thing, Australia will probably want to go to war at some stage in the not too distant future, so we'd better make sure that we have plenty of young people ready to die for a flag. And the shaven headed 20 something boys of suburban Sydney are only too keen to oblige.