Sunday, January 21, 2007

I Can't Say No To You

Evanescence – The Open Door

There should be some kind of music snobs anonymous group where you can go and admit to all the terribly uncool music that you secretly like. "Hi. My name's Jon and I listen to Evanescence." Maybe I'm just subconsciously biased because Amy Lee is hot but for some reason I'm prepared to accept and enjoy their brand of histrionic goth-metal cheese at face value.

The new album is more or less the same as their first. The band lineup has seen a few changes but you'd barely notice, save for the regrettable absence of Josh Freese on drums. On the first album, Fallen, it was the heavier songs that were worth listening to and the ballads, like the cringeworthy 'My Immortal', were Celine Dion-esque exercises in rectal bleeding. In contrast The Open Door's heavy tracks tend to be generic and forgettable, whereas the ballads range from 'embarassing but fun' (I'm thinking of 'Call Me When You're Sober') to genuinely moving ('Like You'). Usually Amy has a great voice but unfortunately years of struggling to be heard above a distortion laden backing band in a live setting seem to have instilled in her a tendency to go into foghorn mode when the music gets heavy. For these reasons I found the first album to be more consistently good overall but the stand out tracks on The Open Door easily surpass anything on Fallen.

As of the time of writing my Amy Lee vs. Natalie Portman poll had them both tied on six votes each. My analysis of the results is: 'What the hell is wrong with you? Get the fuck off my webpage.'

Having said that, I'm not inclined to argue the point much more, as like all celebrities eventually do Amy has succumbed to Hollywood Makeup Drenched Skeleton Disorder. Disregarding the portraits in the album art, which are so airbrushed as to be considered anime, take a look at these:

Before:

After:

2 comments:

Jungle Rhino said...

Jon, I think you will find the cause for Amy's sudden lack of hotness to be due to the age old malady of 'getting married'...

Jon said...

Of course... I should have put two and two together...