This is the Virus, the Virus of Life

(via Joel) The Human Virus Scanner:

My results -

The virus that have infected you will be show here along with thier cures, if known.

Viruses you suffer from:

Linux

Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.

Gaming

Life is not a game. Roll 3D6. On a 4 or more go out and do something with your life.

Industrial

Everyone likes folk. No, really. Maybe you should listen to the Incredible String Band.

BBCB

CTRL-Break, and get a real computer. Repeat: "Mode 7 was not a good thing."

Sci-fi

Stop wearing the stick-on ears.

8-Bit

Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough.

Religion

Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)

Windows

Try MacOS X. It's based on UNIX, it has a smoother UI than Windows and it doesn't suck.
As an extra feature the boxes look nice.

Politics

Stop caring!

Computer Games

Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.

Ultima

If you find one tell us.

Viruses you might suffer from:

Pokemon (60%)

Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now!

USA (70%)

Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat]

Junkfood (60%)

Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.

UNIX (75%)

Anything this old must be obselete. Go and install a nice modern operating system. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately.

Discordia (60%)

Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.

vi (90%)

Escape Meta Alt Control Shift.

Brand Names (80%)

Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.

Conspiracy Theory (73%)

Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.

Hippyism (93%)

Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.

Environmentalism (70%)

Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.

Macintosh (80%)

Use a mouse with more than one button.

Prog Rock (60%)

Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD's they don't crackle.