Tuesday, October 04, 2005

This is the Virus, the Virus of Life

(via Joel) The Human Virus Scanner:

My results -

The virus that have infected you will be show here along with thier cures, if known.

Viruses you suffer from:

Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.
Life is not a game. Roll 3D6. On a 4 or more go out and do something with your life.
Everyone likes folk. No, really. Maybe you should listen to the Incredible String Band.
CTRL-Break, and get a real computer. Repeat: "Mode 7 was not a good thing."
Stop wearing the stick-on ears.
Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough.
Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)
Try MacOS X. It's based on UNIX, it has a smoother UI than Windows and it doesn't suck.
As an extra feature the boxes look nice.
Stop caring!
Computer Games
Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.
If you find one tell us.

Viruses you might suffer from:

Pokemon (60%)
Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now!
USA (70%)
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat]
Junkfood (60%)
Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.
UNIX (75%)
Anything this old must be obselete. Go and install a nice modern operating system. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately.
Discordia (60%)
Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.
vi (90%)
Escape Meta Alt Control Shift.
Brand Names (80%)
Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.
Conspiracy Theory (73%)
Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.
Hippyism (93%)
Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.
Environmentalism (70%)
Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.
Macintosh (80%)
Use a mouse with more than one button.
Prog Rock (60%)
Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD's they don't crackle.


Joel said...

hey Jon - You got the BBCB virus too! Rock on.

Also, are you keen to see the movies Nightwatch and Serenity?

Jon said...

Yeah, that old BBC acorn stole most of my childhood.

As for the movies, I am most definately keen to see Serenity, don't know anything about Nightwatch though.

Anonymous said...

That is pretty cool... the results were fairly pointless but some really obscure images chosen.

If you haven't seen yet nightwatch is good for visuals, story is pretty bizzare (in soviet Russia...)